Category: #FMF

it’s Friday! which means it’s time to …

Backyard Noises

Join the #FMFParty!!!

As I am working on designs and collection pieces, I will be blogging less and working more. Arguably, blogging is working and vice versa, but for this gal, Fridays will be the sure fire without a doubt blog posting day 🙂 Anything else that comes up in my travels, daily life, or tipsy topsy mind might make it as a post on occasion, as well.

Onward and upward.

LISTEN

Go

I am not a good listener. So so so sad about that. But I have been working on improving. Truly and honestly.

Around here these days are some sounds that make me happier than I’ve ever been. And some are sad, making me stare up at the ceiling at night, unable to sleep and wondering what wrong turn I made on this wonderful journey of motherhood.

(Side note: I should not have put the stopwatch timer next to me. Unnerving!)

So today I decided to brave the heat and step outside to see what I heard. And it was amazing! I heard the birds singing in the tress, the scrunching of the grass beneath my feet – which were burning by the time I took my fifth step on the concrete, haha. I heard a soft breeze in the trees. And I stepped back into the house to hear the sweetest sound EVER! My sweet E laughing. The queen of belly laughs always makes my list of Top 100 anything, including Top 10 reasons to run from and to the house. <Insert belly laugh>

So, I guess what I need is to listen MORE. Talk way way way way way less, and enjoy a moment of silence every now and again. How about you?  Do you wish I would take less time talking? HAHAHA. Of course you do! So. There. 🙂

STOP

 

I know what it’s like to FALL

fall

I haven’t posted in a while.

So, it’s funny that today’s word for #FMF would be FALL. It’s something I excel in. I could win awards, outshine all of you, I’m sure, and still not be done doing it. I’m that good!

START

I don’t know if you’ve ever done this, but you know how imperfections in the sidewalk sometimes lead to little hiccups with your walking pattern? Well, do you ever look around after you trip up? Wonder if anyone noticed? Cause I did. And I do. Ha!

Lately, though, it feels more like I’m destined to not only fall, but fail. Though they aren’t the same, they are pretty good buddies, preceding each other. Like the openers at a concert. The ones that let you know what’s coming, song wise, because they were specifically picked by the band to present their genre. But I digress.

Falling and failing are not things I strive to do. Does anyone? But I find myself today, at this very moment, clearly facing a decision. I have been in like a wash and repeat cycle with these two lately. What to do AFTER?

Still in progress.

STOP

 

 

my first #FMF post

view

FMF stands for #FiveMinuteFriday

It was started by a woman, Lisa Jo-Baker, who is a word and story telling connoisseur.  I am just amazed every time I read one of  her posts because she takes the jumbled up emotions and chaotic scenes from my heart and just weaves it together with tears, laughter, and a joy soy profound … and all of a sudden I can see. I can SEE, BREATHE, and FEEL hope – and it is both real AND beautiful. This post about motherhood met me exactly where I was and this part – “I am out of my mind and in my calling and desperate for five minutes alone and a lifetime together.” –  just captures all of the mother in me. 

As a recovering perfectionist, I am especially thrilled to participate in FMF because she figured, why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing.

Heck yes!!

And this is me officially inviting you too! Come join a community ready to throw caution to the wind and embrace an imperfectly perfect post that shares a bit of your heart and soul. Hashtag it on Twitter and sit down with a good cup of coffee because the insights, stories, and moments we share are dear indeed!

Now on to the writing –

 

VIEW

Start

My view has become clouded. Tainted some may say. I guess in some ways I can see clearer than ever. The vision I have for my business, the products and goals, dance through my head and leave me so giddy with the thought of what is to come. But this everyday business of mothering E. Well, that’s view often looks exactly the same as the one I saw from the tip top of a roller coaster before descent. And during. It’s so many mixed emotions, the thrill before the lurching of my stomach. Everything is blurred together and I’m holding on. Some days I can’t see past the next five minutes, staring blindly at my phone hoping to escape a task. Others, I am watching her blossom into such a darling. I kind of hate my shifting view, but that’s like hating life. Life IS a shift, IT IS CHANGE. It is. And … I don’t like that, sometimes. Ok, most times. I feel like if I just had something to hold onto, I could start building a BETTER view. I could embellish the landscape with more projects, nail down more details, perrrrrfect it somehow. Ha! How true it is that we have to let go of how we think life is SUPPOSED to look. I can’t appreciate the view I have because I can’t even see it through the missteps, “issues”, to do list items, and dreams (broken and currently pursued alike).

BUT I WANT TO!!!

I want to see that moment when she belt out a laugh from her very core when someone tumbles or makes a joke. I want to see the beauty of her soul, the light in her eyes, that saucy smile letting me know that she knows something I don’t. And I DON’T WANT TO MISS IT. Not even one second. But I do. And that makes me sad.

So I’m going to have to do something about that. I’m going to have to have my hammer ready to smash every ideal picture (and the accompanying grief, shame, regret, and sense of loss that comes with it). I’ll keep smashing until I can see ever so clearly this dear soul that God has entrusted to me. Until not only can I see her, but she can SEE ME.

Stop