So … hello?
I don’t even know where to start, or end, or what to describe, so let’s just say …
It’s April, I know, but this year has been full of amazing opportunities and countless growing pains.
For now I’m dealing with my perfectionistic and procrastinating tendencies. It’s a deadly deal, no joke! I am working on consistently maintaining my calendar so it’s up-to-date. I found babysitters I can trust, should I wish to go out. I cleaned out seven years of accumulated items and am ready to re-do my sweet E’s room (agaaaaaaain!!! #longstory #kidrooms).
So while I bumble and struggle my way through building GOOD habits (and trying not to step into the alluring pitfalls that brought me here in the first place), I am glad to be here (even though it feels like suffering) because I know where I could (and would) be without these things.
Wishing you a great rest of the week – pursuing and not hiding from your goals … or life 😉
Join the fun with the #FMFparty hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.
Do it 🙂
It’s what time does and my heart feels when I get an impetuous kiss or a hug on the run.
It’s what I want to do when the sun is setting just so and my heart can’t be any more grateful than it already is.
It’s where feet can’t take you.
There have been so many tough times and rough moments this past year, but when I have that sweet five year old squishing my cheeks together, telling me I’m the BEST and she laughs at my silly faces – time and space fall away, homework and housework are a thing of the past, and my little soul just FLIES.
Free and clear, soaring above the petty issues and minor fights of the daily – that’s where you’ll find me. All the tantrums, misguided parenting books and advice, time “lost” – well, it’s nothing compared to this and everything all at the same time. Without the pain, the sometimes wretched existence born of two people growing together, there can never be this appreciation and wonderment and beauty.
It’s been a while!
Life is crazy, sometimes more than others 🙂
I’m not going to over think this, I’m not going to worry or live in fear.
I am going to write!
I think it’s the one thing we lack as parents this day in age. The concept of grace is pretty much the least evident in our parenting skills at the grocery store, as the kids cry and we hold that bar immeasurably high thinking they need to attain it. Where is the GRACE? Yes we need to have expectations, realistic ones are usually not the ones we have though, are they?
I spent the first years of my daughter’s life expecting her to be SOMETHING. At the age of two I practically exploded out of my skin after I had repeated myself over five times (really it was ten, but that level of insanity should only be known by a few, right?). What was it that I said?
Listen closely because at the time this made complete sense to me.
“Go grab your shoes and purse and bring them here so that I can put them on you.” After giving her 15 minutes to get ready.
TWO YEARS OLD!!!
We are so proud of ourselves for giving them options (they mostly DO NOT need, can’t handle, and don’t really want – but that’s a different story), but then we EXPECT and DEMAND them to act like mini adults. I gave you a choice (you weren’t ready for), you made a decision (with your limited thought process), and now there’s a natural consequence (which you can’t really comprehend).
Just consequences and frustration and little to no empathy.
That’s what I see looking back. I see the times I should’ve ( and should STILL) hug and hold – not scold and stand in silent indignation.
There needs to be a solid expectation, yes, but there needs to overwhelming and overly generous amounts of grace that show LOVE –
no matter what