Category: scary beginnings

keep an eye out

Courtesy of Walk with Us
Image courtesy of Walk with Us

Tonight will be random at best.

This post will resemble a magician’s black bag today – you just won’t know what topic I’m pulling out next 🙂


I never know when a great idea will hit, so I always have a notebook, pen, and flashlight by my bedside because it invariably happens just as I close my eyes to rest. I’ve tried pretending that I was going to sleep with the hopes of speeding the process up. No dice. I’ve also tried thinking through a problem BEFORE I even lay down, kind of like pre-programming my mind. Yeah, that was a dead end too. So, I have learned to be ready. I keep an eye and ear out for anything that inspires me, send texts to myself, and I am constantly emailing myself pics that capture a certain element I’ve been thinking about. If I’m on my laptop, Pinterest’s Private Boards are an absolute Godsend I tell you! Sometimes I’m just not ready to share this brilliantly awesome item with everyone,ya know?


Who would have ever thought that would even be a phrase? The concept is definitely new to me, but I am interested in hearing about yours if you have one. I’m so new to this that the idea of planning anything seems like a joy kill, but then, I would also like to have some consistency and be able to share tutorials regularly. Plus, it would be kind of nice to be able to drop in ideas or have a certain theme pulling things together. I’d love to hear about your experience with this, so feel free to fill up the comment section 🙂

This naturally lead to this question – WHY DON’T MORE PEOPLE COMMENT?

I just recently made it to 30+ “Likes” on my FB page, and after I jumped around the room cheering and fist pumping, I noticed something. 25 people viewed my post, maybe 1 Liked it, and NO COMMENTS. Question after question, post after post, and I’m not seeing anyone really interact with me. Am I doing something wrong? Oh blogging geniuses you, share some wisdom here, please 🙂 My attempts at engaging people in topics and conversations via this blog and on FB are pretty dismal, to say the least, and I just don’t get why they don’t do it.


I have a point and shoot camera. And while I would L-O-V-E (and learn to use) one of those fancy dancy SLR ones, it’s just not in the budget right now. So my question is this, if I’m doing a tutorial, and my less than stellar pictures are the only ones I can use, do I post them? I just feel like I’m insulting people with only slightly aesthetically pleasing images. Not that I just shoot them randomly or haphazardly, but they just are obviously not of the caliber or up to par with other bloggers’ content.

And that’s all I have for random thoughts and questions, which concludes the magic portion of tonight’s post. Questions thrown out into the blogosphere have a fun way of freeing my mind and hopefully I’ll get a comment … sometime? Ha!

Here’s to hoping, dreaming, and blogging!


holding on



What a week! Ideas racing through my head, fear (more often than I’d like) coursing through my veins and striking down my dreams, and indecision, my dearly hated friend, keeps me poised yet not ready to strike.

Have you ever been there? You KNOW what you want, you’re ready to jump, but the unfamiliar is just so darn scary! Funny how silly it all seems written in black and white, but this fear, this indecision, makes life just one big weight on my back. I coupled this lovely drama with a daughter who could totally wait out a mule. Oh yeah, people,  good times around here.

So what then?  Sit and drown in ideas that are never pursued? Deny my dreams a chance because I’m clinging to what exactly? Then I remembered this journal entry from five years ago.


And that’s when it hit me. I keep striving, dreaming, crashing, weaving, but not once this week have I stopped and rested in His promise. It’s what makes me smile, lights the way, and puts a song in my mouth. And boy oh boy do I need some more of that!

So this weekend I am defining my goals, enjoying the precious moments I have with my little firecracker, and resting in and working through His promise.

And I can breathe, eat, slee and dream because …

It is all I’ll ever need 🙂

Much love and rest sent your way –



artwork by kiwiTACHAN from deviantart


I am so guilty of this! First off, I love problem solving. I admit it – I’m kind of addicted. Brainstorming and thinking up a plan or process to implement are like drugs for me!  So why do I find myself sitting here uninspired? Well, as it turns out, I’ve kind of planned myself into a black hole. Over thought this one. “What if” has been the sentence starter for every internal comment over the past weekend, and now I’m stuck. What if I don’t get any business? What if no one buys or likes my stuff? What if I started something that I can’t finish? Then what? And then, it hit me.

What if I … fail?!

Ha. The word failing to a recovering perfectionist like myself is enough to cause a mental shut down. It sends me into a tailspin, and I think work work work, do do do, must NOT fail. But is it that bad? Should I sit here dreading the thought so much that I become an unproductive mess?

Not that I’m promoting failing here, just learning to accept and appreciate its qualities … instead of queing doomsday music. After all, each failure has taught me incredible lessons. Like the time I failed at my serving gig. At that age, I thought I was invincible, could do ANYTHING, and had yet to learn enough about myself as to appreciate why things had ended like they did. (No, I did not spit in anyone’s food or light the place on fire – just had two complaints in one night. One for a beverage not being refilled and the other had to do with the food – which I did not prepare, long story short.) But the whole point of that experience was learning to recognize burn out, learning when to let go, and appreciating my strengths and weaknesses.

I’ve also failed at life in other ways, too. For instance, losing out on an entire’s semester of hard work and skipping finals because of a boyfriend, keeping friendships that were toxic because I couldn’t let go, and over committing to projects because I couldn’t disappoint or say no. Each one taught me something, though. Things I had to learn to become who I am today.

I can sit here now and without a shadow of a doubt tell you that I am more than capable of planning, executing, and styling a richly textured and aesthetically pleasing event. And that to me is amazing!  I am not gloating or boasting, I’m just gladly recognizing the talents I possess. And that is so healthy for a recovering perfectionist like myself. I may not be an expert yet on all things event planning, but I am willing to learn.

So what if the art doesn’t sell, the vintage pieces collect dust, and I never get hired? I will have loved every minute of it! And as far as my problem solving addiction goes, guess I’ll just have to dream up something new 😀