Tag: change

rhythm and memories #fmfparty

coffee

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves – Carl Jung.

I’m sitting in a coffee house. On a Friday. With my laptop, a book, and no one needs me. Sounds like it’s time for the #FMFParty to begin 🙂

RHYTHM

Start 

My life’s rhythm has changed once again. No longer filled with steady beats, but more staccato and high pitched melodies. She sings behind, in front, around me, and sometimes it’s lovely and sometime’s it’s not. I have less demands and more. I help less and instruct more. Most days our rhythm is mellow, frantic beats if something needs to get done, then smooth melodies at the end of the day.

I love this crazy life I’ve chosen. I love it. I was reminded today by my mother, ever so wise, to not find my value in the monetary amount I make per hour but to remind myself that this less than perfect option allows me to live the life I want.

I want to be around her, though sometimes she drives me crazy. I want to see all of the little details that she does. Appreciate the noises she makes and hears. “Listen! Look! Mooooooom!” Yes. This rhythm and melody, I have chosen.

And it’s going to change again soon. No more sitting and working with the constant chatter of gibberish and wild stories about abamdaloons with hizawhatnots. It’ll be homework and bedtime and weekends. So, as I fight to find the beauty in the chaos, I am reminded that the rhythm we have is everything I’ve always wanted. It’s everything I need it to be. And it’s going to be the best part of my memories. 

Stop

change is … change

Is it good or bad? Welcome or rejected? It really doesn’t matter because it’s happening every moment of every day, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! Well, then I guess I better … embrace it? How can you embrace that which you do not know?

Today was supposed to be a day of business, followed by a relaxing movie night filled with laughter and plenty of popcorn. Needless to say, that did not happen. I started off strong, but then something happened. The plan changed. The shoot was rescheduled, to be exact. So there I sat next to a mountain of work that was just about finished, and my only prospect was that of taking it down and putting every piece of it away. Eeeek! Change can be a killer for a list person such as myself. I don’t get to finish the list? Check off the last box? What?!!!

With a little encouragement from my mother, I slowly broke that mountain apart into bite size pieces. I also rested and chatted in between and considered what it means to be “flexible”. Now that is something I have never been been accused of being. I remember watching my third grade friends do somersaults and cartwheels and thinking how I couldn’t even understand the concept! Funny how  even though my life has changed so drastically, I still feel like a confounded third grader most days. I watch others take life and whirl it around, skipping past what I considered to be unsurmountable obstacles, and I don’t get it. How? How?

So my goal this week is to make a list with as few items as possible, and live the moment with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. After-all, tomorrow is going to be a whole different animal 🙂