Tag: friends

lonely

Welcome welcome!

If you are a first time reader (or, hopefully, not so new), Fridays are for letting the air slowly out of my lungs and taking five minutes to think on one word. One word has an amazing amount of power. That must be why the hashtag #oneword is so prevalent on Twitter, right? That word can make you feel something, take your heart and mind to memories long forgotten, or remind you of your present. Happy or not.

Last week, I guess I was in denial about my level of tired-ness because I accidentally linked up to an OLD #FMFParty! Say what? I know, so unlike me. *cough, cough* Needless to say, I’ve double checked this week’s link, ha!

Time to let the ideas start flowing and get these fingers a’typing.ย 

keep-tv-on-at-night-greater-risk-depression

LONELY

GO

Do you know how many times I’ve WANTED to be lonely? Like desperate to just find myself ALONE. And it’s funny really, because technically I don’t think I like it, but with a little one’s constant needs to attend to, it sounded like a luxury to me. Loneliness was so far and yet at my fingertips. Constantly being on call, yet not having that pair of helping hands or someone to talk to. Talking to my mom and friends only took me so far. I was, and am at times, lonely.

We just went to meet the teacher. The KINDERGARTEN teacher. Ah. And it hits me. I will BE lonely. And now all of a sudden I don’t want to be. Ha.

I don’t know what lonely looks like to you, but it reminds me of the times I’ve watched a movie more than 10 times. (Yes, this is not an exaggeration.) When I was “separated” but still married, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands (wonder why?? Ha!). I would pop in a movie and these actors, whose back stories I listened to and Director’s cuts and commentaries I listened to, well, they were my friends. I would identify with some of their style, their wardrobe, or whatever. I couldn’t even recognize the loneliness I was feeling. Wasn’t everyone going through this? Doesn’t everyone watch movies to fall asleep?

So, in short, because the timer is ticking down faster than I can coherently speak, I am facing this loneliness head on. I’ll even embrace it because at the end of the day I get to see my sweet E ๐Ÿ™‚

STOP

 

le sigh

http://bensonkua.wordpress.com/tag/faces/
*Photo courtesy of *Mort the Worry Wart via this blog

I have backed myself into a corner, yet again.

Overbooked.

Over thought.

Over worried.

 

Then I sat back and realized how silly are my worries.Completely, utterly, and alarmingly time consuming, crash inducing, and motivation killing is what they are.

Now that they are dead (evil cackle), I am determined not to befriend one anew.

Take this blog, for instance.

I started writing and felt an insane amount of happiness, but then … du du duuuuuh, I started worrying. Am I supposed to be creating tutorials, sharing crazy amounts of pictures from my everyday life, and keeping readers interested with a consistent outpouring of witty writings and thoughtful thoughts???

Dead in the water.ย 

Not one post since that fateful day of overwhelming worriedness. Not one.

So is that why I am doing this? That’s what I had to ask myself. If I don’t tutorialize on the daily or weekly, maybe that’s not my thing. If I’m not attempting to capture every life moment with a pic, then it would be a lie to try. Maybe, just maybe, I created this blog as a creative outlet. Just words, with an image or two thrown in. My little space on the internet to get cozy and chat with whomever might be reading this, if anybody. And if it’s sent out to the void and never read, I will still be happy having shared. Period.

Not worrying about readers, followers, or naysayers is one of the best feelings e.v.e.r ๐Ÿ™‚

I recently read a post by a friend of mine titled “Is blogging really worth it?” I didn’t comment there, worry and I were still REALLY CLOSE, and I chickened out. A comment people! That was the freakishly high amount of self-distrust that I was having. So, anyways, it did get me thinking on what I had already been thinking on – namely the above stated doubts. That’s when I had to sit and ponder the existence and purpose of blogs. Mine in particular.

So, there you have it.

I will write.

That’s it.

Sometimes it will be about my fledgling business, sometimes maybe just a couple of words about the craziness that is parenting a la solo me, and maybe, occasionally I’ll feel like sharing some pics, recipes, or other tidbits of inspiration. Whatevs ๐Ÿ™‚

Like I always say … BECAUSE I CAN.

I wish you the most worry free day of your life!

*h*

an inspiring life

Meet Alejandra

 

I have a couple of projects I’m working on, some personal and some for my house, but today I want to share an experience. And being with her, watching her work, viewing her photos and motion projects is completely that. I have known of and had the privilege of speaking with Alejandraย of Imaginale Design, and I am telling you … the word amazing barely captures her vibrancy and love of life, not to mention her gift for storytelling. Instead of raving on and on about her, I thought I’d share two of her many stories.

The first is a wedding in motion.

A Magnetic Love

And the second is a promo she created.

Mike Olbinski Photography

I am in the process of finding my voice, as Mike mentions in his blog about the promo, and it is such an exciting time in my life! I am inspired by Ale’s work and the way she has embraced the talent she has been given and uses it to inspire, embrace, and encourage a wonder and appreciation for life. While I dream up new projects and work on, watch these videos and let the magic of her storytelling weave a smile into your life ๐Ÿ™‚